Saturday, 30 July 2011

thistle and weeds

My mother is a little garden crazy.  So today despite the horrendous temperatures for July (16 degrees Celsius) we went to several garden centers today.  I reckon her greenery obsession exists because when we live in the Middle East we don't have a 'real' garden, hence why she goes so crazy when we're in Germany.  The garden centers near us are just outside of all these little villages and surrounded by farm land.  Germany can be so very beautiful.  Even in bad weather.

Red bracelet: H&M, Friendship bracelet: hippie shop in München.  Rings left to right: my mum's, TopShop and I Am.

Glasses: Ray Ban, top: Zara, cardigan: Mango, scarf: Mango, jeans: TopShop, shoes: Converse, bag: TopShop

When I was little my Mum would read me this book called Mein Esel Benjamin and I loved it so much I'd make her read it over and over again.  Since then I've had a soft spot for donkeys.  And to my delight they had a big meadow with a family of donkeys at the garden centre.  They are such gentle and loving animals I really can't get enough of them. 

And yes this is my natural hair.  I used to be glued to my GHD's but last summer I was in Canada for 4 weeks and my straighteners wouldn't work.  So since then I'm far more relaxed about my hair and just leave it to have a life of it's own.  I don't use any product and don't do anything to it.  There's just no way to tame it.

So finished my day of garden adventures off with a cup of Earl Grey out of my William and Kate Middleton wedding mug (tacky tourist buy from London I just had to), and a few pages from The Tenant of Wildfell Hall.  I love the Brontë sisters but never got round to reading this book, the recent encouragement was that the BBC film adaptation of this was on sale so I bought it.  But I'm determined to read the book before watching it, so trying to read it as quickly as possible.

Hope you're all having a wonderful and relaxing weekend.

Wednesday, 20 July 2011

October 4th - People and Things

This is the only album of 2011 that matters to me. This band has helped through so much and getting to see them live in 2009 was an unbelievable experience.  

I remember telling myself that after 3 years of listening to them and never having a chance to see them live, that I wouldn't cry.  But then they all came onstage and Andrew McMahon had the biggest smile on his face it was hard not to.  But then they played Bruised and I was an 18 year old girl, standing in a muddy field at the 2009 Leeds Festival and I cried like a baby.  I managed to get the set list from that day, I had tears in my eyes and my hands were shaking when I asked the bouncer for it.  At first he said no but I think the amount of water in my eyes swayed him.  I've never cried at a concert before and in all honesty I hadn't planned on crying but it was all so overwhelming.  I've got the set list n my journal where ever I go, and when I'm on a plane I sometimes look at it and I realize just how much the music has affected me.  The journeys don't seem so bad after that.  

Since I was 14 I've been a frequent flyer (on my own) and had no sense of home, and one day after an emotional goodbye from my Dad at Doha airport in Qatar and Bruised came on shuffle and it was as if a light came on.  Everything about the song spoke to me and that band has consistently been a major part of my life.  I don't usually believe in bands saving lives but the music gave me such courage and constantly reminds me that it's okay to not have a good day and to feel sad, but everything is possible and there's so many beautiful things about life that we should cherish.

“I think human beings make life beautiful. There's a lot of beauty in everything. I think what makes life beautiful is the ability to acknowledge that.” - Andrew McMahon

Thursday, 14 July 2011

Poste avion

Look what arrived in the post today! My enrollment papers from Montpellier arrived today.  Reading the first line where it said 'it is with great pleasure that we welcome you to Paul Valery III Montpellier', felt just like reading my UCAS letter when I got into Cardiff university two years ago.  i have a surprisingly little amount to do now paperwork wise.  All I have to do is photocopy my ID card, get 2 passport photos and photocopy my EU health card.  I don't even have to send anything off because this is all for the September enrollment.  

Getting this today has really raised my spirits, I've been pretty down these past two weeks and a minor fall out with my boyfriend didn't help either.  But then this arrived this morning and my best friend has booked flights to come see me in August.  I'm genuinely excited for her to come and now that my enrollment papers have arrived going to France actually feels like a reality, not just something I'm planning and something that's constantly on the back of my mind.  It's really something to look forward to now.

Friday, 1 July 2011


I'm back here and I don't like it one bit.  I don't feel German at all and would much rather just stay in Cardiff with my boyfriend and know that I can get the train to see my friends any time.  The one hour time difference feels like 7.   I don't feel connected here, all I have here are family.  I only ever spent summer holidays in Germany so I literally have no friends, I realize how sad this makes me sound but it's true.  I feel more British than I do German, but when someone has something bad to say about Germany/Germans I get very defensive.  

None of this will ever make sense, and going to France in September isn't going to help me in the slightest.
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