Tuesday, 16 August 2011

Pre year abroad jitters

So my pre year abroad jitters are kicking in.  It's about time.  

It's about time that I move to France and it's about time that I start feeling nervous about it.  The whole process of starting this year abroad has been going on for such a long time now.  Starting my first year my year abroad seemed so far away, and look here it is.  Talking about destinations and universities last September also didn't seem real, neither did sending off my top 3 choices for France during the Easter holidays.  It didn't even feel real once I got told that I got my first choice Montpellier.  Once the paper work started rolling in and the daunting task of finding a place to live for a year, the reality of the situation started to become clear.  But now it's the middle of August; I have a flat, I've got my paperwork for my grant to fill out, I've been given the information from my university for enrollment week and I'm heading to IKEA this week with my mum to start buying things for the flat like pots, pans and general.

I really just want to bury my head in the sand, or fall asleep and not wake up until the middle of September when the worst is over.  I've been drinking endless cups of tea, reading blogs and starting books all to avoid thinking about the fact that I'm moving into a country where I will only understand 50% of what people are saying, go to a French university and be expected to pass their exams and adding to this I will be living on my own for the very first time.  I think that is what is scaring me the most.  Not understanding people is something I can deal with (I invested in a phrase book) and I'm sure that after a few months the language barrier should be less of an issue.  But it's the living alone in an apartment that is freaking me out.  When I was in boarding school I was never alone.  I shared a room with at least one person until my last year where I finally got my own room because I was deputy head of the boarding house.  Then my first year of university I lived in halls and shared a tiny flat with 4 people, and this year I was in a house with 5 of my friends, plus my boyfriend essentially lived with me too.  It'll be scary coming back to an empty apartment after a day of being overwhelmed by all the frenchness of Montpellier.  I did have the option of looking for a room mate, but the last thing I wanted to worry about was finding someone to live with, knowing my luck I would have ended up with someone absolutely mental.  At least I can have a good cry and sat in bed watching Dexter without feeling too bad and not have to accommodate someone else's issues, sounds selfish I know but I need my year abroad to be as easy and pleasant as possible.

So yes the nerves and the reality are finally kicking in.  Thank god my parents are coming down with me.  My dad doesn't speak a lick of French, and my mum on the other hand is fluent.  So I'll be clinging to my mum like a five year old again.  Opening a bank account is what is scaring me the most about starting out, but I think my mum is only going as a support and is going to try and let me handle most of the talking.  I'm not afraid of speaking French because talking was always my strong point in school, but I'm just frightened of saying something stupid or getting something so obviously wrong.  I'm already researching the word for boarding school, I used to wrong word once and said that I went to a mental institution rather than an all girls school.

For now I'm just going to keep drinking tea, watching Dexter (beyond addictive as a first time watcher) and hoping that everything is just going to fall into place.


  1. ooo good luck with your move... a week after being there you will be thinking 'i don't know why i was so nervous' =) i know what you mean about living alone, it can be quite intimidating, but your going to have the time of your life =)

    ps: i love dexter ^_^ he's hot ha ha

    pebbz blog

  2. Oh, I can kind of get where you're coming from, I'm about to head off for uni next month and the thought of leaving home for the first time (even if I will be in halls with other people!) is terrifying me - not the same thing, I know, but I can definitely sympathise!
    Wishing you lots of luck with everything, though, and I hope your tea-drinking and TV-watching do their job in calming your nerves! xx


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