I always knew that 2013 was going to be an interesting one and it certainly hasn't disappointed. I completed my last semester as an undergraduate and finally graduated in July with a degree in English Literature and French. I had a blissfully lazy summer where my then boyfriend and I moved into a flat together, before I started my MSc (Master of Science) in September at Cardiff. The week I started my postgrad was also the week that I broke up with my boyfriend of 3 and a half years after a shit storm of 'indiscretions' (to put it lightly) came to the surface. So those would be the three major events of my year in a nutshell.
I have learnt a lot this year, both about myself and people. I've learnt that if you invest time and love into your friendships, people will always come out and support you even if you haven't always stayed in touch. These past six months I have been overwhelmed with love and support beyond what I could have ever expected and I will always be so grateful. What I have also learnt about people is that they rarely ever change. If you want them to change there is nothing you can do about it, it all has to come down to the individual, but you can't keep hanging around indefinitely waiting for that day to happen. Don't waste your life hoping someone is going to change for you, you're only going to be disappointed I know I was, and it's a feeling I never want to feel again. Another lesson I have learnt: trust your gut and don't take shit from anyone. Learn from it and move on.
I've learnt that I'm not willing to compromise on who I am, what I want and my happiness. Years of insecurities and crippling self esteem made me think that I wasn't capable of being strong and that I had to settle for staying my comfort zone. But one of my friends used that word 'strong' to describe me following the break up, and I've finally accepted that yes, I am a strong woman and I can handle anything you throw at me, it's not always going to be easy but I'm going to give it my best shot. Never is it a failure, but always a lesson. You should never compromise on how someone treats you and if that means moving on so be it. I've wasted too many years of my life not being the strong person I wanted to be, so now is the time. I refuse to compromise any more.
My life is moving at an incredibly fast pace but I'm trying to embrace it, and I feel like 2014 is the year of possibilities. With each passing year I feel like I'm growing in confidence which makes the timing for my job search perfect. I finish my Masters in June and will hopefully have found a job to sink my teeth into, I'm so excited to see what kind of opportunities my professional life will being me. The world is an oyster that I can't wait to crack open. I feel like I still have a lot to give so I'm excited to see what this new year will bring.
This year I really feel like I have grown into my own, it took some big painful lessons to teach me that but at least it means I will never make those mistakes again. We learn and we grow. I thought this year would leave me exhausted and bruised but I'm the most motivated I have ever been in my entire life. For the new year my goals are to leave negativity behind, to focus on myself and the people who I care about and who truly care for me. That's what a fulfilled life sounds like to me. I'm going to do the best to bury my head in my studies and to be a good person. Wish me luck!
I hope your 2013 has treated you well, and if it hasn't I hope the experiences you've made will make you stronger and more determined to get where you want to be. I hope you all have a happy new year!