Thursday, 17 July 2014

One year on

July 17th 2013.  My graduation.  I achieved what I wasn't even sure I could achieve. 

When you're in school you know exactly what you're going to do.  Year 9 is followed by Year 10 and before you know it you're 17 and expected to know what you want to commit at least 3 years of your life to. I went to a very good school where not going to university wasn't really an option.  90% of my year ended up going and I'm pretty sure most of us went to our first choice university.  In the end I spent four years studying French and English Literature in Cardiff.  I enjoyed it at first.  Going to university after boarding school is very liberating and I wasn't much of a rule breaker in school so being of legal drinking age and being an 'adult' really meant that I could do what I wanted.  I really began to grow and become my own person at my pace, doing things I wanted, or not.

Then for my third year I went to France on my year abroad.  Whilst in hindsight my blog paints a great picture of what I did it wasn't an amazing experience for me.  Oh the deceiving internet.  My year abroad just wasn't for me, it didn't have the life altering effect that I was waiting for.  I came back to Cardiff to start my fourth and final year and I really lost any motivation, interest and passion in either of the subjects.  I didn't put much effort in.  I wasn't even sure I was going to get the degree results that I needed to even pass my entire degree.  Again with hindsight and I can see that I had a lot going on in my personal life that was draining me and putting a lot of mental strain on me.  

So one year and one BA later, what are we looking at?

Everything has changed.  Absolutely everything.

I got onto a tough postgraduate course at Cardiff Business School despite my poor degree result.  I severed old ties with emotional baggage and a whole new life started for me.  It's been a crazy year.  I threw myself into my business course which was so far removed from my humanities background and I'm so glad I did because amazing opportunities have arisen out of this.  Not only have I learnt a lot but I've gotten a job out of it too.  It's been the best year ever.

Everyone always says that your early twenties and undergraduate years are the best. But being honest, my undergraduate wasn't the best time of my life in hindsight, this year has been.  Your early twenties are messy and chaotic.  You make mistakes, sometimes big ones, you attach yourself to people who you shouldn't and you stick by them for too long.  I know I'm only 23 so I probably still count as early twenties but ever since I started this new chapter of my life I feel like I have become a whole better person.  I'm not the person I want to be yet but seriously, who ever is?

What I'm trying to say is that it's okay if you aren't enjoying your undergraduate or if your life hasn't turned out as expected or planned.  As 17 year olds it seems insane to make these big life changing decisions.  I can only implore you to try and stick it out.  Good things can arise out of difficult situations and it's worth it.  Life is not clear and simple, it's going to take a lot of effort.  I've thrown everything I have at this year, I have gone through bereavement, found new friends and an amazing new person to care about.

I'm so excited to graduate next July, this one will be a big and well deserved party after all my efforts this year.

"Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."

7 comments

  1. Like this post. I didn't really have the whole amazing best time of my life experience at uni either but that was because of me and the person I was/am reserved and found social situations difficult sometimes. I did try though haha and did some random things because of that. I am 26 but still don't know what I am doing with myself so I think it is great you have thrown yourself into something else and found you really enjoy it. Though I will say if it becomes too much or you stop enjoying it . . if you can, don't be afraid to have a break, go abroad, move somewhere else or whatever else you fancy, you're young enough and obviously able enough to do well at whatever you wish. :) Amy xx
    amynmore.blogspot.co.uk

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  2. Uni was just a bit Meh for me to be honest! If I had my time again I honestly wouldnt bother going! I would rather have studied holistic therapies and be running my own business by now, but I am decently academic so was more or less forced down the uni route, now I have an OK degree, in a subject I still like to work in occasionally, journalism, but not something I want to do full time with my life. I will go back to college one day to get my massage certification but for now launching the photo company is taking front position. Good luck on your career, you deserve it!
    Two Hearts One Roof

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  3. Best wishes on you last year of grad school.

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  4. You look lovely in your photo, well done on graduating! I've got mine next week, eep!
    KKKIRANXOXO
    xoxo

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  5. This is a good post - the early-20s-time-of-your-life thing just makes things worse when you feel like your life isn't working out at the moment! Sounds like you've had a great year, I'm happy for you :)

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  6. I felt exactly the same about uni (and strangely graduate July 17 last year too!). I lost interest and other factors meant I didn't get the result I wanted either.
    Here's to hoping next year is even better :)
    Daniella x

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