Thursday, 6 November 2014

Romance & Love For Beginners: Lessons From Beyoncé

As a child of the 90s Beyoncé has been formative to my appreciation of music. Back when I was a kid Beyoncé was most famous for Destiny's Child and since their split, she's evolved into the formidable and amazing performer who I've always loved and appreciated. My motto: WWBD? What Would Beyoncé Do? 

What I didn't know as a kid was how many lessons you could learn from Beyoncé, her ability to get it so right in life and look amazing all at the same time is genuinely inspiring. We all want to be Beyoncé, but there's only one of her and there's only one of me. When I've had a bad break up she's there for me, when I need a kick up the arse to get on with my life and be an independent woman she's there for me. My own personal fountain of wisdom.

So here are some of Beyoncé's most important life lessons:

If he liked it, he would have put a ring on it

'Ring' in this case is interchangeable for this like the 'girlfriend' label or in a wider sense - commitment.  If he doesn't put a ring on your finger, or shies away from wanting to call you his girlfriend or commitment in general he probably doesn't like you as much as you like him. Just put your hands up, hit the dance floor, move on and be your fabulous self. You're clearly too good for him anyway. It's pointless spending your time trying to analyse why someone doesn't feel the same way. It can be devastating but you just have to focus on you and getting yourself out there. He had his turn and missed out on being with you, go out there and be fabulous.

Don't be taken for granted

Relationships can be all encompassing and it's hard to see clearly sometimes, I'm guilty of this. We desperately want something to work out that we ignore the warning signs - secretive behaviour and standoffishness are just two of them. Beyoncé doesn't put up with that shit! Everything you own in the box to the left and out you go. Being taken for granted and being unappreciated is dangerous because in the end you think something is wrong with you and it makes you questions yourself. Don't put up with being someone's option when they're your priority. I had this song on repeat when I had the dubious pleasure of kicking out an ex whom I lived with. Throwing his stuff in boxes with this blaring was pretty empowering.

KARMA WILL GET YOU/Break ups can be positive

Mostly when relationships end it's sad, but Beyoncé teaches us that there's a 'good' in goodbye. There are some relationships where the only thing you can really do is get the hell out and thank your lucky stars that it's over. I was in a relationship where the end actually came as a relief because it meant the end of all the lies and being made to feel like a crazy person (you can read about that here). There's also a satisfying feeling in knowing that your ex is never going to meet someone as amazing as you again whilst he is living his sorry little life and being miserable. This is the ultimate 'SCREW YOU' anthem. I take my hat off to you Beyoncé (I'm also so jealous of how you look in this video I almost can't watch it).

You can go at it alone

THIS SONG IS EVERYTHING. We put so much emphasis on relationships and some people think they're the be all and end all of your existence. Not true. Going at life alone and being confident in yourself is in my eyes, more rewarding. The shoes on my feet? I bought them. My bills? I pay them. The clothes I wear? I bought them. The diamonds? I've not bought them yet but I plan on getting myself a diamond ring for my 24th birthday. I'm adamant that my first diamond is going to be one I bought myself with my own money I don't want to rely on a guy for it.

Relationships are amazing and wonderful and lovely but it should always be 50/50. If you're not being given the emotional support you need and not being treated fairly get out and be your own woman. It's an amazing feeling.

And now to sing you out:

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  1. This really made me giggle :) I love your writing recently, I've been an avid reader of your blog for a while but you seem to have a bit more sparkle these days!

    Sara @

  2. Hahaha I absolutely love this!! This must have been so fun to write :) These are lessons I too have taken note of but thank you for pulling them together in this lovely post haha

    Mo x

  3. This is possibly one of the best blog posts I've seen on the whole internet ever, Nina! It was so good to read this and giggle and feel all strong & good about life - absolutely love it. When someone is treating like a very part-time part of their life when they are completely a full-time part of yours, singing that lyric "Thank god I found the good in turned out to be the best thing I never had" - its so freeing! And of course, Independent Woman is perhaps the best song ever written - best played very loudly in the flat you pay for!




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