Wednesday, 25 February 2015

Romance & Love For Beginners: The Tinder Date

As you know, I have been flirting with Tinder for a while now. It's had it's ups and downs, I've deleted the app a few times but have always gone back to it during the advert breaks on Take Me out on Saturday nights. I had combed thoroughly through my age range (23-27) and came up empty. So I decided to go bold and include the gentlemen above 30 as well.

Maybe I'm naive but I was hoping that being over 30 meant that the man in question would have some sort of stable living situation, a good job and some kind of direction. I mean I'm 23 years old and all of those things apply to me. How hard can it really be?

As it turns out: very. Enter Tinder Thomas.

Tinder Thomas had a funny profile without being cheesy, nice pictures and was 33 years old. So far so good. We talked back and forth for a bit and in the end moved the conversation to WhatsApp. We had funny chats, he obviously had a similar sense of humour to me. Suspiciously however, he never mentioned work or what he was doing during the day. Red flag. In the end he asked me if I fancied going out for drinks. I said yes, already mentally planning a whole outfit around my BooHoo shoes naturally. And as per the usual Nina way I was getting far too ahead of myself and wondering how on earth I was going to explain to my mother that I found my boyfriend on an app where you swipe right if you like someone. As Jane Austen says: "A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment."

We agreed to meet in a new bar near my house. A tactical move on my part so I wouldn't have to share an awkward taxi with him. As it turns out the bar was horrendous. When I asked the waitress for a Hendricks and soda water with cucumber she looked at me like I was insane. That set the tone for the whole night.

Some succinct highlights of the evening:

Tinder Thomas: "So if your parents are Germans living in Brazil, does that make them Nazis in hiding?"

Tinder Thomas: "I've had to dress for 2 occasions tonight, I may be going out with some friends later." takes off reasonably nice brown roll neck jumper to reveal a Jurassic Park T Rex t-shirt.

Me: "So what do you do?"
Tinder Thomas: "Technically nothing, I took voluntary redundancy."
Me: "Oh I see, so do you live alone?" (me thinking "Please god say yes")
Tinder Thomas: "No I live with my parents, I spend quite a lot of my time in my room." 

Me: Speaking about S Club 7 (this was two gins and two glasses of wine into the evening, don't ask). I used to love S Club 7!
Tinder Thomas: "Oh yeah they were really big when I was in university."
Me: "I was about 10 then... "

The crowning jewel of the whole evening was when we were saying goodbye. We hugged it out but as we were breaking apart from the hug he rested his hands on my hips and looked at my face very intently. He was going in for the kill. I jumped back and waved him away from a safe distance shouting "I'll see you again soon" as I power walked away. We haven't spoken since.

Following on from this incident my male college has given me some very useful advice when it comes to not wanting to kiss men: "If a guy looks at you like he's going to kiss you and you don't want to, just cough in his face." I wish I'd known that then.

So Tinder and I have ended our affair. It's been deleted and I think that's how it will stay. The stable fantastic man who doesn't live with his parents and has a good job is not going to be trawling through Tinder. Or maybe he is and I'm missing out on him.

Thank you Tinder, it's been enlightening.

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  1. Sweet Jesus! Tinder has instilled one ever lasting thought within me - that I must remember and repeat every time I feel weak and think I may return to swipe away a few pointless moments - being single isn't as bad as being with these people will be! x

  2. I've had about the same experiences, haha. I definitely have a love/hate thing with that app. I just re-downloaded it.. I'll give it a day.

    The Tiny Darling

  3. WHAT at his first comment, who thinks that's an okay thing to say in any situation??
    A lot of my friends seem to be successful with Tinder but I don't think it's for me either...

  4. Hi Nina!
    I've been following you on tumblr for a looong time. We probably exchanged a bit. I used to read your blog regularly. Then cut out from the tumblr world for a good year and a half, I was just posting during my year abroad. As I was browsing again on tumblr I found your tumblr and blog. And it is so good to read you again, see what you've become.
    This post about Tinder is really good. Thanks for talking about your experience with this app (which totally scare me! Even though my friends are trying to get me into it)
    I wish you all the best, you strong woman that you are !


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