Sunday, 19 April 2015

How to be alone

The thought of being alone used to frighten the life out of me when I was younger. However, recently I've found a sense of satisfaction and peace in spending time by myself. It's a learning curve and you have to ease yourself into it. 

I have a fantastic group of friends who make me cry with laughter every time we're together, but realistically they can't hold my hand through everything. There are times when I am alone and whilst that used to be daunting to me, that's no longer the case. As I've said previously there's a big difference in being alone and feeling lonely. 

Do small things that make you happy

On Sundays get the freshly washed bedding onto your bed, put some relaxing music on, get the kettle on the go, find some of your favourite old books that you've forgotten about and curl up in your bed. I love going through my second hand poetry books and finding my favourite verses and writing them in my journal. It's a collection of my favourite quotes, verses and general personal ramblings. It's fun to read over them and find some solace in quotes.


This seems like such a simple answer and people that know me will laugh because I am the least sporty person ever. I hate to sweat and I hate wearing lycra. However, I recently forced myself to sign up for the gym after being fed up of wallowing in self hatred. At first it was a struggle and not fun in the slightest but as I've persevered I've begun to enjoy it and all the things people say about sport making you happy are true. It's the sense of knowing you're in control and deciding to do something good for your body which is really satisfying.

Have lazy days

As humans we love to overthink everything. Some days I find myself thinking about something I said in passing to someone else and worrying how it came across and whether I was annoying or not. I've found since working full time my head is buzzing and full with thoughts. The best thing to do in these situations is to put some candles on and open up Netflix. Lazy days prepare you for the week ahead and there should be no shame in taking a few hours out to marathon your favourite series or re-watch cheesy movies (The Beautician and The Beast, I'm looking at you).

Treat yourself

Life is too short and you work too hard to not buy yourself those ridiculous shoes or to treat yourself to beautiful fresh flowers for your home. Reward yourself for all the hard work you put into the working week. Sometimes getting up in the morning can feel like a battle and it's much better if you can get up and put your fanciest shoes on. Not only will everyone in the office be jealous but you will feel like a million dollars. Being confident in yourself makes such a difference in how you act and how others treat you and if a pair of shoes make you feel like that: get them.


Look at your bookshelf and pick out a book. It can be a trashy romance novel or a book covering your favourite historical era, it doesn't matter just pick up a book and read. Reading allows you to escape into a different world and let you forget your worries. I personally like to pour myself a gin and tonic (slightly heavy on the gin of course) with some elderflower and lemon and settle down reading about strong females who changed the history of the world. If Boadicea can drive around in a chariot and lead a revolt against the occupying Romans I can get up in the morning, put a bra on and get through another day at work.

Take your friends on adventures

This isn't strictly doing things by yourself, but going on little adventures with friends can make you feel more confident and ready to take on the world. This weekend my uni friend Simone and I walked from Cardiff Bay to Penarth. It wasn't a big adventure, it really was just exploring what was on our doorstep but it's amazing the kinds of adventures you can have just by stepping outside of your door. We had a great day and it's going to be a memory that's going to stay with me. The next step from here is being brave enough to go on a holiday by myself.

Go for food by yourself

Going out and doing things by yourself can seem very intimidating especially things such as eating out which is seen as a social thing you do as a couple or in a group. It wasn't something I was keen to do as I was worried about what others would think. I was worried people would look at me and feel sorry that I was by myself. But saying that, since a solo trip to London I love eating out by myself. I always take a book with me but people watching is almost more satisfying, and rather than people feeling sorry for me they talk to me and strike up conversation. 

What are some of your favourite things to do alone?

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  1. I love this! There definitely is a knack to being alone without getting lonely. I do love going out for a nice meal by myself with the kindle - ideal! x

    Jasmin Charlotte

  2. I completely agree there is a difference between being alone and feeling lonely. I've been okay with being alone for such a long time now and I like having that alone time to recharge, take a break and do what I want when I want. It's good to have a balance and doing those alone things with people when you do begin to feel lonely.

  3. I think I'm probably a total weirdo but I love being alone. Until I moved down to London I lived alone for four years and loved just being able to do whatever I wanted when I wanted. When I'm alone I settle into my own little routines and tend to start projects and do things I wouldn't when other people are around. I think everyone should learn to be ok spending time alone.

  4. This is a brilliant list of things to do even if you're in a couple. I believe it's important to always take time for yourself and these are some fantastic suggestions for doing that x

  5. Even though I'm in a relationship I love my alone time! I think it's important to be happy going to the cinema or for food alone as it means you're in a great place with yourself - nothing weird about that! :)
    Jen x

  6. What a lovely post, glad to have come across your blog :)!



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