Sunday, 13 March 2016

How To Be Alone - Part 1: Acceptance


We're fast approaching a new milestone in my life. August will mark my second year of being a sassy single lady.

I thought I was going to be dreading that anniversary but in reality I've found myself in a happy and content routine. What once frightened me now gives me joy.

My dating history consists of two long term relationships so since I was 18 I've barely spent any time alone. The closest I came was when I spent my year abroad in France whilst my boyfriend at the time was in Cardiff. It was incredibly liberating and reassuring, for the first time I felt like myself. But when I came back to Cardiff I once again became so wrapped up in that relationship I lost all focus on myself.


Since my last relationship with He Who Shall Not Be Named the II ended (see more here) I've been on some dates but a serious relationship is eluding me. At first it got me down but as time goes on I'm becoming more and more comfortable with being alone, although I'll admit it's not always easy. Not being in a relationship has meant that I'm forced to be alone. It sounds more drastic that it is because at the heart of it I'm not actually alone; I have my family and amazing friends, life doesn't revolve around being in a relationship.

As humans we actively seek that contact and those special bonds. I always thought that it was always about being in love with someone else and being in that committed relationship. It turns out that that's not necessarily the case.

What I'm actually discovering is that the most important relationship you can have is the one you have with yourself. By being alone I'm slowly but surely pushing the edges of my comfort zone and so far it's been incredibly rewarding.

Being alone doesn't mean I'm lonely, but likewise being alone doesn't mean that I don't get lonely. It's all about finding that balance. Some days are easier than others but so far I'm really enjoying this journey of singledom. Plus it means that I get to watch back to back episodes of The Bachelorette whilst stuffing my face with crumpets without judgement. Every could has a silver lining.
"The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself."  - Michel de Montaigne

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1 comment

  1. It's so much better to be alone than to be with someone you shouldn't be with. I wish I'd learnt this when I was younger so I could have had some time to myself instead of sticking it out with guys I shouldn't have bothered with! xxx
    Lucy @ La Lingua | Food, Travel, Italy

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